


Kagome Gets Drunk

by theBitchTornado



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Crack, Drunken Shenanigans, F/M, Fighting, Humor, Mild Sexual Content, One-Shot, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-11
Updated: 2016-03-11
Packaged: 2018-05-26 00:35:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6216556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theBitchTornado/pseuds/theBitchTornado
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kagome partakes in sacred ritual: under-age drinking while talking about boys and reading inappropriate material. Too bad she's not normal and the two men discussed are Inuyasha and Sesshomaru.  Not-beta read.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kagome Gets Drunk

Kagome gets drunk  


Ayumi was the first one to pull out a bottle. Four school girls sat in a circle in Kagome’s room, their backpacks on the bed. They were giggling, looking at some magazines Eri snuck out of her brother’s room.  


“Ohhhhh….that one’s big!” Kagome giggled at the picture in the ad. The man didn’t bother with a cover over his pelvis area; he proudly held out his member, beaming at the camera. “Buy now and you’ll be as big as me!” the kanji declared above the male’s head.  


“Here! Let me see!” the usually shy Ayumi exclaimed, while opening the bottle and taking a swig of the liquor. Grinning, Kagome passed her the dirty magazine.  


“Ohhhhh! He is! Mmmmm…….I wonder?” the girl turned towards Kagome, passing her the expensive and imported vodka. “Is Inuyasha as big, or bigger?” Kagome choked on the mouthful.  


“What?!” Kagome sputtered with embarrassment. Yuka incredulously looked at her.  


“Wait, so you haven’t seen him naked? I thought he was your boyfriend!” she said, taking the bottle from Kagome, taking a much larger sip of the drink. Kagome blushed and hurriedly grabbed back the bottle, drinking more.  


“Well….” A collective gasp sounded throughout the room. And then Eri made a satisfied noise.  


“A-HA! So you did have sex with him!” she yelled out triumphantly, pointing an accusing finger at Kagome. Kagome only drank more, vigorously shaking her head in panic.  


“It’s not like that! I just….uh……caught him bathing once,” she smiled weakly, hoping to fend off the questions. No such luck. All three of her friends’ eyes just got bigger, and then they leaned in and smiled wickedly.  


“Ohhhhh…….caught him bathing did you? So, what’d you do afterwards?” Eri looked sly and all three leaned even closer.  


“Do tell!” Yuka hissed out.  


“Was it romantic?” Ayumi breathed out, stuck in her own Lalala land while drinking the vodka.  


“No, no, no!!!!! It wasn’t, it really wasn’t like that!!!!” Kagome screamed out, waving her arms in front of her, accidently knocking the bottle over. Thankfully, she picked it up before it could spill over on her carpet. Not knowing what to do, she took a very long sip from the glass bottle.  


“So, how was it then?” Eri asked. Kagome gulped the drink and sighed. She really wasn’t going to get out of this one.  


“Uh, so he uh, followed me home one time, and uh, I had to study and he was, uh distracting me so uh, I told him to take a bath and the water was really hot so he jumped out and ran to my room. And then, uh, I saw his, thing.” She blushed even more, and downed the last of the vodka.  


“Hey! We barely got a drink from that! Wait, what do you mean by ‘distracting’ you?” If possible, they got even closer. Kagome looked like she was a deer caught in headlights.  


“Just bitching to me about how long I take to study…….” She burped and walked towards her closet and pulled out a pack of beer. Once a month, they would save up enough money and spend it at the liquor store in the bad part of town, a store was very _discreet_. Her guests each took a can.  


“Spill it Kagome! We wanna know!” Eri yelled. She stared Kagome down.  


“Okay! Fine! I’ll tell you! He’s big alright!” she yelled, the last part sounding even louder than she intended to. The three others looked at each other and squealed.  


“Oh my god, you’re so lucky! My boyfriend is barely five inches,” Yuka said with a pout. Kagome looked like she wanted to jump out the window. Instead, she took a deep sip from her own can.  


“Th-th-that’s not what I meant! It was an accident! Besides, his brother is bigger!!” That was a huge mistake.  


“ **WHAT??????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!** ” Their screams could wake up the dead, who were, conveniently, right outside on the shrine grounds.  


“You mean to tell us, that you saw and liked, Inuyasha’s brother’s dick?! Oh my god, are you two-timing Inuyasha with his big brother?!” Kagome took a long drink. They took it as a confession.  


“Oh my god, so it is true! Is he good?” Yuka couldn’t have gotten closer to Kagome if she tried.  


“Me and him?! He’s an Ice Prince! No way!” It’s not like she didn’t think about it.  


“Uh-huh. And we all know you _totally_ don’t go with jerks, _at all_.”  


“Hey! I went out with Hojo!” she hiccuped. She finished the first can and reached for another one.  


“Once, and you ditched halfway through,” said Ayumi with startling accuracy. Kagome glared at her smart friend. Said friend was grinning from ear to ear, drinking her beer.  


“Fine! But I never said I liked it!” she folded her arms across her chest. “Or did it with him!”  


“So how’d you catch him then?” Crap. Why, oh why, did she have to bring up Sesshomaru?! She blushed at the thought of him, in the hot spring, rubbing himself, rising up………Kagome’s eyes glazed over. She idly drank, thinking back to that sight. Clothed, he was stunning……..naked was something else entirely.  


“Hello? Someone in there?” Someone moved their hands in front of her face. “Earth to Kagome! Kagome!!!” She shook herself awake.  


“What happened?” She looked worriedly at her friends, who were smirking.  


“So you did like what you saw, after all,” Eri said with triumph. Kagome pouted and slowly nodded her head yes. She looked down at her hand; the empty beer can replaced with another.  


“Okay, you need to tell us every. Single. Detail. Leave anything out and we’ll make you drink until you do. Understand?!” Kagome nodded, drinking the liquid courage. She told them everything, switching feudal terms to modern ones.  


“I was at Inuyasha’s house, uh, playing video games….and then I needed to go to the bathroom, and it was unlocked…..and occupied.” She gulped down the beer, blushing heavily.  


“Uh-huh, and?!” Yuka cried. She was fisting her hands, avidly watching her best friend. Her empty beer can was crushed and forgotten.  


“And, uh, he was standing there, uh, drying off.” She cringed. Drying off wasn’t _quite_ what he was doing…..  


“Uh-huh, and what happened next?! Did you….ya know, apologize? Did he notice? Did he invite you in?!” Eri, Yuka, and Ayumi were avidly watching Kagome. If possible, her face turned even redder than Inuyasha’s haori.  


“OH MY GOD, HE DID NOTICE!!!!!!” they screamed with excitement only sexually frustrated first years would express at such a piece of information.  


There was a thump on the door, and then Souta’s voice came through.  


“Uh, Kagome? Mom wants to know what’s going on in there,” the young boy said. He heard them all the way from the living room, over the TV.  


‘Oh Kami, this just got worse,’ Kagome despaired.  


“N-Nothing Souta! Just girl talk! That’s all!” she laughed uncomfortably. She was really starting to feel the buzz now.  


“Ok, sis. Gramps said to keep it down.”  


“Okay!” she replied, very tipsy but very cheerful. They heard footsteps moving away from the door and they all visibly relaxed and took another can each.  


“So, continue!” Yuka begged. Another sexy bad boy after Kagome? It was so unfair. Why did she get to have all the fun?  


“He, uh, just calmly told me to go away, and I did,” Kagome lamely said. Actually, no. He didn’t say anything, per say, but he knew she was there. He caught her scent and smirked. Her insides melted into a giant pile of goo. ‘His smirk was something else,’ she thought dreamily.  


They drank long into the night. Kagome was completely sloshed as she said goodbye to her friends in the morning. She should have laid down and dealt with the hangover but somehow, she wanted to go to the feudal era. That seemed like the right thing to do.  


So, like the smart and mature young woman that she was, she packed her bag full of ramen, crayons, and other essentials, and walked to the well. She fell over.  


When she landed in the past, she giggled (it sounded more like gurgling) and tried to climb up. By the grace of the Kami themselves, she somehow got up and pulled herself over the ledge. She giggled again. Inuyasha sat there, crouched like a dog and his (how did doggy ears get so _CUTE_ all of the sudden) ears twitched with annoyance.  


“Oi! Wench, where in the seven hells have you been? And why do you smell like liquor?” he asked, confused. Kagome simply giggled and reached for his ears.  


“Doggy ears,” she breathed out. She reached out for the aforementioned appendages and tugged them hard.  


“Hey! What the fuck? Let go???! Kagome, let go of my ears, damn it!” His words were drowned out by her giggling and her massaging (since when were they so fluffy?) the twitching hanyou ears.  


“I wonder, if I have babies, will they have doggy ears?” she giggled. Inuyasha looked at her with horror.  


He pushed her away.  


“Not with me you won’t!” he yelled, suddenly terrified of Kagome’s next words. Somehow, he wasn’t gonna like this either. She pouted and then laughed. Just how drunk was she?  


He was about to get that question answered. She folded her arms across her chest and said, “Fine, I’ll just have them with Sesshomaru then!”  


The sound of his jaw hitting the ground scared away a youkai who wanted to get the Jewel shards around the drunken ningen’s neck. ‘Never mind about that…….I’ll get them some other time,’ he thought and hurried away. It also scared a certain monk and demon slayer who were performing some very interesting acrobatics on the forest floor. They pulled apart quickly and dressed in their battle attire and ran towards the clearing.  


“What is going on?! Is everything alright?” Sango yelled. “Is Naraku here?!” Nope, Naraku wasn’t here, but a drunk Kagome trying to molest Inuyasha’s ears was. When she saw that, her jaw too hit the ground and even more low level demons scurried away. Miroku strode into the clearing, his jaw set and his resolve hardening (unlike a certain part of his body-he thought resentfully) to die if necessary.  


Well, it wasn’t. Because now, Sango and Miroku had to pull a loud Kagome off of Inuyasha, the former of which was singing about doggy ears and babies. She smelled and looked like she got wasted. They were all confused, since when was Kagome-the pure and innocent miko- as drunk as Mushin at a wedding?  


Shippou was the last to join the group and simply sniffed and wrinkled his nose. His mother was really, really drunk. He thought he knew why. Inubaka made her cry again.  


“Kitsune-bi!” he cried out bravely, facing his palm towards his mother’s tormentor. “How dare you make Kaa-san cry!”  


Inuyasha barely escaped the blast in time, occupied as he was by the hands of his best friend, still hearing “doggy ears” “babies” and “Sesshomaru” in the same sentence.  


He whirled around and punched Shippou.  


“What the fuck runt? Why the hell did you do that for?” The singing still continued. If he had to listen to “doggy eared babies” _one more time_ then he would……  


Shippou cried. “Why do you think, baka?! You made Kagome cry again, didn’t you? That’s why she’s all messed up!” He fired another blast of his fox fire. Inuyasha growled and whipped out Tetsuaiga.  


“I did nothing! She was the one who was late and tugging on my ears! Also, get her to shut up will you?” he barked over to Miroku and Sango, who watched Kagome giggle and sway with the wind with shock on their faces. ‘Things cannot get worse,’ they thought.  


Oh but they could. Not a minute later, Inuyasha sniffed again and growled even louder. Three seconds later, a whirlwind appeared on the horizon, and the distant yells of “Wait for us boss!” reached their ears.  


Kouga strode into the clearing and delicately sniffed the air and frowned. His woman was _definitely_ here, but something was not right. He looked over. She was giggling, swaying those delicious hips…..swaying? He sniffed again. Was she drunk?  


How dare Mutt-face get her drunk!!!!!! He bet that he was gonna take advantage of her!   


“Inu-kurro, _what the hell did you do to my woman_?!” Kouga didn’t wait as he valiantly attacked the beast in front of him that dared to dishonor the love of his life.  


“I. DID. NOT. DO. ANYTHING. YOU MANGY PIECE OF SHIT!” Inuyasha defended his honor as best as he could against the ookami. Why did everyone think this was his fault? So he made Kagome cry a couple of times. Big deal! She was a walking water skin, just waiting to be squeezed out.  


“How dare you say that about my mate!” Kouga roared. Inuyasha gulped. He really needed to keep his mouth shut.  


Kagome watched all of this and laughed. Miroku and Sango were really starting to worry. Usually by now, Kagome would ‘sit’ Inuyasha a couple of times and send Kouga packing. Seriously, what was going on?  


There was a break in the fighting and Kagome unsteadily walked over to Kouga, batting her eyelashes. What was going on, _now?_  


“Oooohhh, Kouga,” she moaned his name. Inuyasha’s eyes widened with shock. What the…?  


Kouga looked pleased. Finally, his woman was ready. But drunk. He shrugged it off. He would worry about that later. She reached him and poked him square in the chest.  


“You’re so strong,” she slurred. He puffed his chest with pride. “I bet your big hands aren’t the _only_ things that are big.” She giggled and tossed her hair, biting her lip. Kouga smirked at her. She wasn’t wrong. But there was something wrong with her eyes. They were glazed over. He tried to ignore them and focus on how she tended to him, like a mate would. And Mutt-face got to see all of it. Today was truly a victory.  


“You bad boy, always fighting. Why do I get all of the bad boys? It really is unfair,” she giggled. The Inu-tachi couldn’t believe what they were hearing. Today was a strange day.  


It was about to get even stranger. While Kagome was mooning over the wolf prince, who was glowing with pride and smirking worse than Miroku (who wished that Sango treated him like this, and who now used his ‘cursed’ hand to rest on Sango’s butt), guess who should waltz into the drama but Sesshomaru himself. And alone. And smirking so hard the Inu-tachi thought his whole face would crack.  


Inuyasha growled (his customary greeting) but Sesshomaru walked past him and sat down, assessing the human girl caressing the ookami.  


“So, little brother?” he asked, amused.  


“What do you want bastard?”  


The stoic demon lord shook his head, almost as if he was saddened by the spectacle.  


“It’s sad, is it not, little brother, to see a woman so unsatisfied? Tell me, have you been attending to the wrong woman?”  


Miroku’s jaw was sore from all the times it hit the ground today, but it still did. He whistled. He wished he had that kind of audacity. He squeezed Sango’s bottom.  


“Hentai!” she screamed and slapped him, as if they weren’t doing much more earlier. He sighed. First the interruption, now this. He was a simple man. Why did Buddha have to test him so much?  


Inuyasha just couldn’t believe his luck. Why was everyone blaming him?! He glowered at the wench. ‘She’s caused me nothing but trouble,’ he thought.  


Said wench turned around and blearily looked at Sesshomaru.  


“Lord Sesshomaru!”she crowed, reminding the Inu-tachi of another human girl who acted like that. Except, this wasn’t a normal occurrence.  


She ran up to him and hugged him tight. He wrinkled his nose. Though it was subsiding, she was still drunk. He idly wondered why and how she got this way. Though he didn’t think about it too long because the miko was now saying something to him.  


“Big strong youkai,” she crooned. Sesshomaru heard Inuyasha groan and growl, “Not this bullshit again.” He smirked. He rather liked this particular miko, and what she was saying. He was a demon, but still a man.  


Her body was still sweet as she pressed against him, shamelessly kissing him and tugging on his kimono. He briefly heard a yowl of protest from the wolf but he ignored it. He was rather enjoying himself at the moment.  


“Big bad doggy,” she giggled. “But we all know just vulnerable you can be…..oh yes, you can posture all you like but this,” she looked him in the eye brazeningly, her eyes shining and _clear_ , “Kagome knows just what your size is.” She kissed him hard, her arousal faintly perfuming the air.  


So she noticed, huh? He knew she saw him on occasion, but it wasn’t any accident. He finally got her attention, and she didn’t mind in the slightest.  


Victory was his. And now that she was thinking a bit more clearly, it was time to take leave of the group and enjoy each other’s…… attentions.  


He scooped her up, and gathered her strange bag amid protests from the surrounding group.  


“What the fuck are you doing?” his idiotic little brother screamed out. He smirked again and turned back to the shocked audience.  


“Why, Inuyasha, must you be so crass? I’m merely doing what the miko wishes. After all, Rin needs a mother.”And with that, he took his leave, Shippou running after them, and then, after a few words, hopping along for the ride.

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah......I'm a pervert and should apologize, but as you can see, I'm shameless. Well, I hope you enjoyed it! Comment and rate if you'd like :)


End file.
